people, its called the fantastic four.. FANTASTIC being the key word, so start acting fantastic will you?

WARNING: the following post contains spoilers for the movie fantastic four 2, if you do not wish to see any spoilers, i suggest you piss off from this blog right away. thanks for you understanding, you have been warned.

HIGHLIGHT TO READ

FAN TAS TIC... not....

after risking mine and other people's safety by driving like a maniac, i arrived at the cinema, just to be.. disappointed. riiight... just when i thought x-men 3 sucked so bad, and spidey 3 is so average, and just when i thought that 3 (three) is the bad number for marvel film, i was wrong (again).

turns out the combination of 4 and 2 wont work so well either for marvel. coz fantastic four 2: rise of the silver surfer.. SUCKED... bad... there.. i said it.. okay okay.. for those of you at home asking "who the f*ck does he think he is? saying such bold statement as if he can make a better movie from fantastic four 2!" i can only say "skru u pal!"

okay lets start with the review

Acting
okay.. jessica alba, i know youre beautiful and all, and yes, maybe id give an arm for you, maybe... but you got to start acting on serious movies if you wanna have yourself to be appreciated as an actress. you gotta start saying "NO! i dont want to dye my hair blonde, and NO! i do not want myself to be covered in TAN in a CAN! or have my eyebrows to be drawn like an egyptian queen! no! no! NO!"

ioan gruffurd (whats with the name man.. how do you pronounce it anyway? ian? eowan? its like mjolnir all over again) acts like...i dunno.. his acting is so... whats the word im looking for here... stiff.. thats right. for a character that can stretch himself in a gajilion ways.. youre acting all stiff.. show some emotion man, come on.. i know youre supposed to be a dork and all, but come on.. even dorks have emotion.. heck the silver surfer got more emotion than you do and hes a silver nude alien!

chicklis and evans, again, saved the movie by really bringing the best of ben grimm's and jhonny storm's character into life. but i cant help but to think that the thing (no pun intended) looks more like a fat bulky guy instead a huge rocky strong guy, but its good enough

doom? i never see that oz dude from nip/tuck as dr doom... he may have the evil look, but hes more like a "im rich and im powerful, so i can do whatever i like" evil instead of "IM DOOM! KNEEL BEFORE DOOM! RICHARDS? BAH!! DOOM THE GREATEST THERE IS" evil... you know what im saying?

silver frickin surfer... one of the savior of the movie.. he is portrayed as i imagined he should be if theres a movie about him.. the effects are good.. no, make that awesome... almost orgasmic... but the voice can be improved. i somehow cant shake the image of laurence fishburne as morpheus's voice when the silver surver is talking.

that general guy...hager or something... youre not samuel l jackson, youre nowhere near samuel l jackson, youre not even samuel l jackson under study, no you are not even close to a samuel l jackson's wannabee.. SO STOP ACTING LIKE ONE! good thing he died tho...

and is it just me or the girl portraying capt. raye would really make a great cammy from street fighter?.. maybe im just obsessed with cammy...

the story
im not gonna tell you all of the story, (go see the movie you cheap bastard), so im just gonna write the outline.

sue and reed are getting married, silver surfer came to earth, silver surfer creates anomalies on earth, the army need reed's help, reed investigates anomalies, wedding ruined, chase scene, jhonny goes into a funk after fighting silver surfer, doom got back to life, doom persuades silver surfer, surfer ignores doom, doom got hit by surfer, army ask for doom's help, surfer captured, doom steals surfer's board, doom goes crazy, galactus is coming, fantastic four helps surfer, fight scene, chase scene, surfer goes kaboom, the world safe, reed and sue got married in japan.

is it just me or it looks like the surfer just got raped? look where all those cosmic energies are gathering man!

there you go..
wait.. "that would be just a spoiler without any of your comments or opinion" you say?
fine fine.. what i hate about the story is.. its nothing new... doom stole surfer's board in the comics once (or maybe twice, i dont know), i dont like the script, they stole a couple of lines from ultimate extinction, i dont like the chase scene involving doom and the fantasticar, i dont like the idea of jhonny being the super-skrull powered member of the fantastic four.

dear scriptwriter: stop using lines from comic books for movies

I DEMAND MY GALACTUS! i expect to see galactus being brought to life in this movie and what did i get? nothing but space dust that goes kaboom.. you would be surprised how happy id be when i see a gigantic man wearing blue and purple outfit with a silly hat... but no... they had to show us nothing but the shadow of galactus's head and space dust.. dust.. have a bit of dust!

GALACTUS! DEVOURER OF WORLDS VS DUST

do not laugh at his outfit, especially his hat, he loves the hat
dust. see big difference here?

BONUS SECTION

earlier, my friend tonny heard me bitching about the movie not showing any galactus, but dust. then he asked me "what does galactus looks like in the comics?" "hes a giant with purple and blue outfit i say"
then he asked me again "how big is he?", and i said "ill show you on my blog"

so.. heres a picture to show you how big galactus is
... just kidding, hes actually this big:

im huge and secksi!

Overall, well, its a marvel movie, which means its always fun to watch, but people like me who take their comic books seriously should really avoid this movie...

in a scale of one to ten, id give the fantastic four 2 : rise of the silver surfer..

how many members are there in the fantastic four? thats right, FOUR